When bad things happen to good people?


No matter how hard I try, sometimes things don't turn out as expected. A laboratory doesn't deliver work promised on time or some treatment doesn't have a desired outcome. Whatever actually happens sometimes I get a call from an upset patient. While my own internal response may be that I am not to blame, that is usually not the first, second or third thing that comes out of my mouth.

Over the years, I have found that patients can get upset and need to vent. Dental work can be expensive, treatments can take more time than predicted, and not everything turns out as expected.
When I was a younger dentist, I had more difficulty dealing with patients when they got angry. How dare they talk to me that way, I thought. I would react to their complaints with my own angry response.

 This clearly was not the best approach. Yes, even though most times things turn out fine, but occasionally when things don't go well, part of a dentist's job is to listen to their patients vent.  When angry, they want to be heard. If in fact, I am partly to  blame, I have no problem offering a sincere apology, since this is what is truly appropriate. I try and take the time to patiently listen, think about what they are feeling and console them. Sure it doesn't change what has occurred but acknowledging that they have a right to be upset can make a difference.  Not every one of these conversations concludes positively, but I try very hard to take the high road and listen before I comment. Sometimes I end up including some "mitigating" factors that may have contributed to their difficulties. That being said, no one wants to hear that at the beginning of their "rant" and it's better to gently bring this up towards the end of the conversation , because someone who is very angry will not hear or accept any mitigating circumstances, even when they are valid.   Sometimes I ask my  patient what I can do to make them feel better and often either they make a reasonable request or they calm down and our conversation proceeds to an amiable conclusion.

At times   my patient ends up concluding the conversation still angry and sometimes that is the last I hear from them, but more often my patients eventually get over what was bugging them and they return to my dental practice. In general  long standing relationships rarely  exist without any conflict, but when these "bumps" are addressed properly and resolved, a relationship can continue and even flourish.

from Ask Dr. Spindel - http://lspindelnycdds.blogspot.com/2017/12/when-bad-things-happen-to-good-people.html - http://lspindelnycdds.blogspot.com/

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